Paul Keating Insult Generator1.0.2 - Google Play

This application is a random word generated phrasing application. Mr Keating has not uttered these phrases himself. Mr Keating has not authorised this application and has no association with it. Much like the Australian population, we think it would be great to have such a magnificent orator back in politics.

Long for the days of proper political slanging matches in Australia? Where it was about the quality and constitutions of the people involved not what they did 17 years ago? Do you remember fondly the days of glorious one-liners, zingers and put-downs that were thrown across the aisle with reckless abandon. Do you miss that master of mockery Paul Keating, who was able to effortlessly slice and dice his political opponents in a single sentence?

Well, miss him no longer for with the Paul Keating Insults App for 'Android Linux Platform For Phone Communication Devices', it's like having a tiny Paul Keating in your pocket ready to lend a hand with the perfect insult for any occasion. Amuse your friends, confound your enemies, insult anyone on any medium be it via email, Facebook, Twitter or even In Real Life. Let all talk of scandals, slush funds, press galleries and SMS history fade away as you embrace the heady and intoxicating brew of a real political climate, when politicians were politicians, journalists were journalists and no one would have ever thought ABC24 sounded like 'a good idea'.

This app has been lovingly crafted by Synthetica as a Christmas (and New Year) present to a desperate nation, sorely lacking in political pizzaz and panache. Not only does the app contain nuclear-quality Keating-esque Insults but it comes with a lovely icon carved from the finest pixels by Walkley Award winning (that means he's quite good) political cartoonist Jon Kudelka.

But what are the people saying about this app? Here are a few comments from our beta testers:

"This is the insult generator we had to have. For too long has Australia suffered without Paul Keating's towering and quite ill mannered intellect on the political scene. Remember when Parliament wasn't terrible? Relive the glory days again." - @firstdogonmoon (Walkley Award Winning Cartoonist at Crikey)

"Passive-aggressive is passé. Go nuclear with PJK in your pants." - @leslienassar

"One exclamation mark, Margaret!" - @s_bridges

"An app encapsulating an Australian icon (with an excellent icon). In your phone, right there in black and white, is how colourful Australian politics used to be." - @davidparis

"I don't understand how this is supposed to help me find my keys" - @jason_a_w